Deadbeat fathers

If there's one thing I hate most, it's deadbeat fathers! I am disgusted by the amount of men in today's society who couldn't be bothered when it comes to their own kids. Don't get me wrong there's a fair amount of deadbeat mothers too, so don't think I'm so naive not to realise that.

Speaking, unfortunately, from personal experience, some men seriously couldn't case less about the little people they helped create. I'm specifically talking about the kind of men who won't look at their kids when they pass them in the street, the men that can't be bothered paying all of their child support let alone paying it on time. Then there's the father's that have never once laid eyes on their kids. These men are nothing but a huge waste of space!!

Both of my kids fathers fall into the deadbeat dad category.*sigh*

Kailee's father was happy to stick around for 6mths of his daughter's life pretending to care, only because he thought doing so would lead to me taking his sorry ass back. When I made it clear there was no getting back together, he never saw her again. Nearly 5 and a half years later, he's since had a few more kids, two of which he plays the doting dad over. Though Kailee gets sad he doesn't visit or call, she's grown into a wonderful little girl and isn't lacking anything in life, least of all love!

Xavier's father was the kind of guy that knows all the right things to say. After a year of being together he said he wanted to start trying for a baby together. He threw my contraceptive pill in the bin n we began trying to get pregnant. I was sceptical at first since he had been sure he didn't want anymore kids (he already had 2) but he insisted he was serious. After nearly 5mths of trying, he told me he was moving out. 3 days later he called the relationship off. The following week I found out I was 4wks pregnant.

From the get go he told me it wasn't what he wanted, it was all wrong. He rarely visited or spoke about the pregnancy and when I was 10wks pregnant he stopped visiting, by 12wks he told me he wanted nothing to do with me or my child. I was left to buy everything from scratch on my own. Not a single cent he's paid towards the car seat, cot, highchair, pram, clothes - anything our son has needed.

Whilst living in the same town as each other, not once has he met his son. As many times as I've contacted him giving him the opportunity he's always denied wanting to see his son. I did what I felt was the right thing and emailed him photos of his son to which he replied that he didn't want me to send any photos or contact him about his son. He hoped I'd find a man to be my son's dad as he couldn't (wouldn't!). He was open to his son finding him in 18+yrs though if Xavier wanted to know who his father was.

How shallow can some parents be? I hate hearing about mother's that stop men seeing their kids so I've always made sure to leave the door open for there 2 guys to one day see their own flesh n blood. It's purely their choice that they don't want to. In the end its only themselves missing out on their children's lives n the kids they are hurting!

Quite simply though, my children don't miss out on anything. They have all the love they need, a safe place to sleep, clean clothes to year, food to eat n a wonderful family that would do anythjmg for them. So the absence of someone in their lives that couldn't really offer them much anyway isn't really a great loss. If these father's can't see how special their beautiful kids are, they don't deserve to be in their lives. Simple.

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Just putting it out there

I'm just gonna put it out there... I'm over 'friends' who can only be bothered to visit when they want something. They don't pop around just to say hi or have a coffee.

Surely they realise how transparent their intentions are. I'm always there for my friends n most times will always say yes to help. My friendship has quickly become a door mat for others to wipe their feet on as they come to get something they want.

Blah!

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Attention seeking parents or children

One thing that bugs me is parents who feel they need special attention everytime their child/ren is sick. All children get sick at one time or another, I understand that but I'm talking about the one person we all no doubt have in our lives who's child is constantly sick and they're milking all the attention they possibly can.

It's one thing to have a child/ren that have medical issues or get sick from daycare or school. It's another to constantly whinge n gripe bout every little detail of your child's illness. A while ago I had a lady initiate a conversation with me by telling me what her sick daughter's temp was. It's heartbreaking when your child is sick, but what the heck are you doing chatting online??

Nearly every conversation I've had with this woman is about how her daughter is sick. It's not the same illness either that she hasn't seemed to gotten over either. Maybe she's a very sick little girl but maybe, just maybe her mother loves the attention she gets when people hear or see she's looking after a sick baby yet again.

I realise this probably makes me sound incredibly arrogant n rude. Not to mention a complete bitch but I can't help the warning bells in my head each time this mother seems to be fishing for attention n sympathy. I think first n foremost get off the computer n sit with ur sick child until she's better. I know my life comes to a grinding halt when either of my kids are sick, there's just no time for internet or socialising as I'll too busy administering panadol, wet face washers, cuddles n lots of mummy time.

I know it's not just me either. My best friend often has as least one kid feeling unwell; other friends of mine have kids that are sick but instead, they go a little MIA at those times. Not sticking there whole Facebook page about their sick child n how rundown they are. We're mother's, it's part of our role to endure this every now n then. We soldier on though.

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The start of a Barbie obsession

I've managed to avoid it for nearly 6 year, but today the inevitable happened - I bought Kailee a Barbie doll. As a young girl I had the most intense Barbie obsession. Every gift I received you could just about guarantee was another Barbie doll, Barbie accessory or Barbie prop (car, horse, house etc). I've spent the first 5 and a half years of my daughter's life trying to avoid starting her own collection of this overpriced, unrealistic doll.

Today though, I gave in. Don't get me wrong, I'm not against my daughter having Barbie's as my mother had already bought her a couple, I just hadn't bought her any. Looking at all the different Barbie's - black, white; male, female; blonde, brunette; they were very much the same. The accessories were much the same as when I was a little girl though now they all did something fancy by lighting up, making sounds or moving in some manner.

Christmas this year will be a test to see if she continues to ask for more Barbie dolls and all the extras you can purchase as well. Just as long as we don't spend our weekends washing each doll's hair n dressing them all to make sure they're all there. This is one obsession I'm not wanting to spend a fortune on. Her body shape is all wrong anyway, but that's another post.

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When is it time to let go?

Amazingly, today I was contacted by a girl that my brother was friends with in primary school. Years ago she came to visit him where we lived and when she went home she left 2 of her jackets behind. I honesty think she did this on purpose since she was very much 'into' my brother. Her feelings weren't reciprocated but she was persisting.

When she wanted to come back and get them my brother told her not to and that he would post them back. Over the years we've all moved houses and led busy lives, it's now been 3 years since this happened and she's asking for the jackets back. I don't know why she's thought my brother kept them all this time but he has no idea what happened to them. So while he refuses to speak to her as she's completely crazy. (She Once contacted my brother's fiancee early in their relationship, saying her n my brother had something going.) She just wanted to cause drama. Childish really.

Now that the items are long gone she wants my brother to reimburse her for the cost of the jackets, apparently just one was $80. Ridiculously, she purchased these jackets 3 years prior to visiting my brother. Yep, 6 years ago!! She certainly is nuts. She's only mentioned these jackets maybe 3 times in 3 years to me, when I didn't even have them, and now expects my brother to pay for them.*sigh*

So when is it time to let go of something you leave behind on a trip away? Or do you just keep hanging onto something that is long gone, based on the principle of how much it cost? As far as I'm concerned if they were so expensive, she would have been sure to take them home with her. She has no one to blame but herself for being silly enough to not take everything when she left.

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Beyond Exhausted

I'm amazed I'm still recovering after Xavier's birthday party weekend. I've spent the past 2 weeks at home, relaxing (well, cleaning and relaxing). I still feel drained and like I need some time to chill out. I didn't realise that weekend's events would take so much out of me. After his professional photos, birthday party preparations and Dedication, I'm just glad it's over. Until another year I guess.

I've spent the past couple weeks at home, constantly tidying up after the kids. Now that Xavier is starting to walk, he does nothing more than trash the house. He's realised how to sneak into his sisters room, hiding in there and pulling out all of her toys. One afternoon Kailee came home and yelled out, "ARGH! That kid messed my room again!" It was hilarious!! He's more interested in playing with her dolls and such, rather than his trucks and countless toys in the lounge room. Boys *sigh*. Speaking of which, he's just snuck in there as I type this.

I love my kids, but it would be wonderful if I had a break every now and then to recooperate. Unfortunately, it rarely happens. Xavier is still breastfed so that makes it harder for someone to look after him - though not impossible since he goes a few hours between feeds during the day. Kailee is cheeky and already at that back-chatting stage. Xavier climbs everything and is constantly opening the fridge - I'm gonna have to buy a lock for the fridge tomorrow to stop him doing that. My kids are my world and I would be lost without them, but they are exhausting and I'm starting to feel so drained from the constant cleaning and running around fighting with them. Just wait 'til they're older and I can go mess up their houses and leave them with the mess. Revenge will be beautiful.

It's all worthwhile when I look into their eyes and see their beautiful smiles. Xavier is so cute and cheeky; Kailee is affectionate and beautiful. I'm blessed with them both, even if I am lacking in sleep or the odd couple hours to myself for some "me time". I wouldn't have my life any other way!!

Messed up priorities!

What is it with some parents there days, they're all too happy to buy top dollar items for themselves yet beg, borrow n bargain for items needed for their kids. Considering whatever they need for the kids is less expensive!

As far as I'm concerned, kids come first!! Or at least they do in my house. I'll continue to wear the same few outfits each week while my 2 kids drawers are overflowing. They have an abundance of toys and all the necessities of life - both material n not. If my son needs a new car seat (and he will in a year) I'll buy a new one; if my daughter needs a new bed I'll buy her one (which I did earlier this year - $600 later). Being a single mum, as tight as money can be -and it sometime is - I won't skimp out on things my kids need!

All too often I hear people say they are looking for something to be given to them for next to nothing for their kids but brag about their big luxury item they are getting for themselves. It infuriates me to no end! Get your priorities straight people!! Fair enough, save money where you can but don't give your most precious children second best when you will only take the absolute best for yourself. Our aim as parents is to be the best mum or dad we possibly could be - not bargain for whatever we can "afford" and that'll just have to do. *sigh*

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